helpless

Father-HELP!!!! i don't know how tto feel, i don't know what i am supposed to think, i don't know how to get throught this. i know to some people it would seem like nothing-i know certain people would like me to pretend it doens't bother me- but it DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so tired of this kind of thing! i am tired of feeling like a victim-because i know i'm not-but it's hard to remember that when you get kicked around so much. by the same person. over and over.Father, i know the easiest thing for everyone(except me) would be to go -pretend it am not torn up inside, and suck it up. but is that what i should do. or would that just give people more reason to think they can be unthoughtful of me cuz i'll never stand up for myself? that sounds so selfish. i don't think i could really stand up for myself. would i be wrong to want scott to stand up for me? where is that boundary where we say enough is enough?are we responsible for how doing waht's right for us makes them feel-when clearly they never considered how we might feel in the wake of their decision. Feather, i know i am a brat-ranting about what i deserve- i just want to know how i am supposed to do this. help me i want to glorify you, thru it- i do-but i also don't want to be miserable the whole time either! if i can't be with sctt, help me to enjoy who i eat with then enjoy scott for the rest of te night if scott decides to step down-helsp everyone understand. thank you, my Father. amen