Kerraziness

Abba~ i know you love me, and i am so thankful for that. thank you for all te times you show me how much bigger you are than my fears. thank you for the people who love me and the way you use them. Help me to appreciate them more. please bless my darling one , and show me how to love him. and those others whom i love so much who are going thru hard times, please bless and care for them and show me how to love them best. ameb

Amazed

Abba, Every day You do things that amaze me. you take what i have and am and turn it into something beautiful ,and you use me in the lives of others. Thank you for my precious Scott. Thank you for always being faithful to draw us closer to You and make us more like you. keep us from ever doubting that you'll take care of us and help us to trust in your unfailing love. i ask that you bless my wonderful husband with a new job in which he can work for your glory ans he continues to follow your call to ministry. We love you, Father, and we ask all these things for your glory. Amen

Thank You

Father, Thank you. thatnk you for the peace that passes all understanding. thank you for your spirit who convicts me of my sin, thank you ofr the friends you surround me with who build me up. thank you for this wonderul humongous family of people who love me. thank you for the life you have given me to glorify you. Abba~thank you for Jill. Thank you for someone to be Steve's helper in life, someone to encourage him and love him, and Father, for a sister. a sister close to my age to love and be friends with. thank you for new beginnings and second, third, and an infinite number of chances to glorify you through how i relate to people. Thank you for it all.

left out

Father- keep me from having a pity party. help me to be content with the love of my heavenly father, the lover of my soul, and the one who has made me his own. keep me from self pity or feellings of worthlessness, that i may glorify you with my heart attitude and the way it shines thru into my life.calm my heart and bring peace to my mind. let those who love me see how thankful i am to them by the way that i live, love, and act.

progress

Father! i need you more than ever now. you have sorted out so much in my heart over the past few days, and i am so thankful for all the encouragement you have been pouring my way.why does it seem that the better things get, the worse i feel. Father i am so sick of being ruled by my emotions. i want to stop feeling so conflicted. i want to be able to only feel joy when i think about this-not fear. so tired of living in fear. my fear of man has been controlling so many of my attitudes and actions, and i want to be free from it. i wnat ot be free to rejoice, and see how i can love your people-everyone you bring into my life. help me to deal with what i need to deal with and heal my heartache, father i am sick of this fear that divides me from you and those i love. help me father, i feel like i am drowning right now. i need your arms to hold me close and love me. your love is the only one that will satisfy me. i know taht and i cry out to you to hold me, love me, heal me, fill me. i love you.

frustrated and soo excited

Father~ how can i be sfo excited and happy flor others, yet feel so sorry for myself? why do i have to make this about me? Father, i just want to feel loved. will you make me feel loved? will you show me that none of my insecurities matter- just that you love me and i am yours? father! i cry out to you in my helplessness! help me die to self and live for you! also, thanks for what you are doing ! i ask your blessing over it and your guidance for it. the world's odds are set so high against it, but if you are for us-who could even try to be against us? thank you, Abba. amen

A prayer...

Father~ I am a little afraid. not because i think You won't give me what i need, but because i am afraid what i need may be different than what i want. i want my will and my desired to line up with yours. all that siad, i ask you to give scott this job. we both feel like you lined everything up perfectly for it, and so in that sense, i hav peace. but alas, i am human, and have so much difficulty trusting that my needs will be met. faather-i ask that you will continue to bless us like you always hqave, and enable us to do you will so that we may glorify you with our every thought, word, and action. let ou lives be a reflection of you as we strive to serve you. remove from our hearts and minds any fears and help us trust you. Okay, so scott didn't et the job. should i pretend like i am okay with that? should i pretend like it makessense and i saw it coming/ Father, i am so confused. i don't know what to think or how to feel about anything. i felt like you had it all lined up. i guess you bdid. just not the way we thought. i know that you have omething way better for us, but i can't fathom what it is right now. maybe that's as it should be. Father, just give me peace elp me to trust you that you have our best interest at heart. these things matter so little in the long run, father, and we just wanna glorify you. heal my heartbreak, Father.please.

Today's The Day...I Hope....

Okay, so it's Finally Friday!!! Today is the day we are supposed to find out for certain about this job. so i have decided, to help with the chilling out on my part, to list th reason's i feel like this is God's perfect timing and Scott is gonna get this job.

1. The car broke down and God immediately provided a new one.
2. Scott decided to actively look for a new job, and th next day this was listed...
3. He has applied for a few othe jobs and not even gotten a call back- this one they called right away
4. they had 50 applicants, and he was one of only 3 they interviewed.
5. God has given both of us a good feeling about this
6. God knows what we need...

So i think i'm going to jut chill... or try to....

Patience....and trust. Hmmm...

So today God is teaching me patience. Scott applied for a job two weeks ago tomorrow. Not just any job, either-nope- it's like his dream Job. Yeah, so...he turned in his application on a thursday. on the following tuesday -yes, that's two business days later- he got a call asking him to come for an interview the next Monday. Scott has applied for a few other jobs, and we never ever heard anything. and frim what we have heard, the County takes forever to do anything, so this was a huge surprise. Then, Scott goes to his interview this monday, and he finds out that 50 people applied for this job-and they interviewed.....THREE! First, that says a lot about Scott- that out of 50 people, they saw him as one of the only three people they wanted to consider for this job. That's pretty good. Right? so he said he felt like the interview went really well. like he did well, and he had fun. he likes to interview. So then he tells me that he will find out on friday. Wow! that's soon! i couldn't believe how soon! HMPH! i had no idea how LONG four days is-or can be! I thought it would just fly! Again, HMPH!!! Well, today is wednesday, so it's been just under two days. i am so nervous! i mean, i know money cannot buy us happiness and all that, but it will provide us with some security so we can live and minister not so hand to mouth ...i know God has the best for us, and i know it will all work out just fine, but at this moment i am just so afraid he won't get the job. it would be easy not to have my hopes so set if it were not between Scott and only 2 others. the statistics of it are what makes it so tense. i know that i am supposed to be learning both patience and trust right now but it is really hard! Father, give me Your peace and teach me to trust that You have Your best in store for us.

Butterfly

you see me/it's not me/there's somethin underneath my skin/i wanna tear it all away and show the beauty that's within/begin to come unglued/and throw away the older me/just give it time and then you'll see//i wanna be a butterfly/flyin in the sky/with You today/i wanna lose this old cocoon/i wanna do it soon/and fly away/away// so tired of/always crawlin/up the tree to fal back down again/this lowly place where i began is not he place i'm gonna end up/so before you/sum up all the missing pieces in my head/there's so much further i can get//i wanna be a butterfly/flyin in the sky/with You today/i wanna lose this old cocoon/i wanna do it soon/and fly away/away// your wind is underneath my wing/it carries me away/it's You, my God that makes me sing/when i'm on my way/ change a little every day//i wanna be a butterfly/flyin in the sky/with You-today/i wanna lose this old cocoon/wanna do it soon/and fly away/away// You take what's old and make it new/so i can be with you/and fly away/away

Never Been unloved

Thank God He's more faithful than I am!........I have been unfaithful/I've been unworthy/I have been unrighteous/and I have been unmerciful/I have been unreachable/I have been unteachable/I have been unwilling/and I have been undesirable/and sometimes, I have been unwise-I've been undone by what I'm unsure of/but because of You and all that You went thru-I know that I have never been unloved/ I have been unbroken/I have been unmended/I have been uneasy and I've been unapproachable/I've been unemotional/I've been unexceptional/I've been undecided and I have been unqualified/unaware-I have been unfair/I've been unfit for blessings from above/but even I can see/the sacrifice You made for me to show me I have never been unloved/it's because of you and all that You went thru/I know that I have never been unloved.

Missing Person

Another question in me /One for the Powers that be /It's got me thrown and so I put on my poker face / and try to figure it out /this undeniable doubt /a common occurrence /feeling so out of place /Guarded and cynical now /Can't help but wondering How /My heart evolved into a rock beating inside of me /so I reel /such a stoic ordeal /where's that feeling that I don't feel? //there was a girl who had the faith to move a mountain and like a child she would believe without a reason without a trace, she disappeared into the void and I've been searching for that missing person// Under a lavender moon /so many thoughts consume me /who dimmed that glowing light that /once burned so bright in me /is this a radical phase /a problematical age /that keeps me running /from all that I used to be? /is there a way to return /is there a way to unlearn /that common knowledge /that's chipping away at my soul /will I ever find my way home? //there was a girl who had the faith to move a mountain and ilke a child she would believe without a reason without a trace, she disappeared into the void and I've been searching for that missing person// She used to want to try walk the straight and narrow /she had a fire and she could feel it in the marrow /it's been a long time and I haven't seen her lately /but I've been searching /for that missing person!

Desperate

God did so much in my heart at Re:mix. Some of it is really scary, and i don't know what to think, but there's one thing i do know: I am desperate for God to work through me!!! All weekend, my heart was singing this... Hungry, I come to You for I know You satisfy/ I am empty, but I know Your love does not run dry/ So I wait for You/ So I wait for You/ **I’m falling on my knees *Offering all of me* Jesus You’re all this heart is living for.* /Broken, I run to You for Your arms are open wide /I am weary, but I know Your touch restores my life /So I wait for You /So I wait for You **I’m falling on my knees *Offering all of me *Jesus You’re all this heart is living for.* *That’s where I am right now. I am so hungry for God, and I am so broken. I want to do his work, but sometimes it discouraging and exhausting and painful. He keeps pulling me back to himself, though, and that is the best hug ever! What's God doing with you?

My heart on Oasis

So i spent the morning in prayer, and God put this lyric on my heart to sing to Him concerning Oasis... You are the Author of knowledge You can redeem what’s been done You hold the present and all that’s to come Until Your everlasting kingdom *Lord, I don’t know where all this is going Or how it all works out. Lead me to peace that is past understanding A peace beyond all doubt* You are the God of tomorrow Turning the darkness to dawn Lifting the hopeless with hope to go on You are the rock of all salvation *Lord, I don’t know where all this is going Or how it all works out. Lead me to peace that is past understanding A peace beyond all doubt* Oh, Lord, You are the author Redeeming what’s been done You hold what’s in the present And all that is to come.

Never alone or unguarded

Have you ever taken the time to read psalm 139-i mean really read it as if it was you talking to God? i wanna challenge y'all to try praying through a psalm each day, reading a verse or two, and then praying about it. it's amazing! M

First post

so. this is my blog, which wil be forthwith used to post cool stuff God is teaching me. if you read it, that is what you will get. consder thyself warned.