New Feelings

well...not exactly new...i mean...i have always wanted to be a mother...just not like this.(disclaimer: i am NOT pregnant yet!!!!) i guess before it was sort of a theoretical "yeah, of course...someday" kinda thing. But over the past few months it has evolved into something much larger, and over the past weeks- it has become a serious- for real- deep desire of my heart! i see women with child, women with toddlers, women with infants...all these tug at my heart and make me smile- but this past saturday i saw what i had not seen yet-at least not since this became real to me- a woman with a newborn. i know that motherhood will not be all about the radiance of pregnancy, the doting on by strangers, and my sweet, cuddly newborn- but i am still ready for whatever God gives me. last night Scott asked if i was ready for my life to be all about this baby- and without hesitation i said yes- not because i am so excited at the prospect, but because i have thought it through and i know i am. it won't be a totally new concept for me since my life has pretty much been all about one person for almost 7 years( all you who have known me that long would agree). so now i am sure that god has me in a place where there is enough of me for my life to be all about two people!